Attention all fellers: As they now stand, your plans to buy a gift of frilly lingerie for your significant other are doomed to flop and fail. You’re probably looking at lingerie Web sites right now, armed only with a vague idea of your sweetheart’s sizes (no, no, stop looking at your cupped hands), and an even more vague notion of what she’d actually like to wear, a notion that’s inextricably rooted in the kind of lingerie you want to see in the bedroom: lacy, see-through, possibly evaporating.
Do some reconnaissance. Take a peek inside your significant other’s underwear or lingerie drawer and look up her bra size, which is a number followed by a letter. Then look at the panty size, which should be small, medium or large. Do not try to measure her yourself: “A man coming at you with a measuring tape is a little frightening,” Kirti says. “Asking her for her sizes is completely fine.” Kirti also advises looking up your girl’s clothing size (size 6, size 8 and so on), which can be used to size her up for sleepwear.
You should also attempt to discern your lover’s tastes, because you’re probably less certain than you think you are. “Most guys like see-through, black, jewel tones … like the stuff they see in French movies,” says Kirti. (I know that she said “French movies” instead of “dumb American pornography,” but c’mon, fellas.) “Men typically like things that are on the racier side — which is not to say ‘slutty’ — and women want something that’s going to make them feel hot and sexy, because for women it’s very cerebral; it’s all about how we’re feeling.
“You should take her physical attributes into account,” she continues. “Find out what she finds most attractive about herself, and exploit that. If [she’s] a pear-shape, with bigger hips and booty and a really stellar upper body, buy her a bra-and-panty set so she shows off her stomach. If she’s got a tummy or has had some kids, then a baby-doll or something to cover your tummy is better. That’ll show off her legs.”
And whatever you do, don’t guess at the size. “The most common mistake men make is buying too small. It’s rare that I have women bringing back large underwear to buy small,” Kirti says. “It’s more likely they’ll bring back a small to exchange for a large.”
Make sure you’re sure. “If you’re giving lingerie for the first time, it’s really important that you go a little bit on the safer side, and buy something a little more mild,” says Kirti. “Just buy a nice silk nightgown instead of a bra-and-panty set. You can work into the sexier, racy stuff later.”
Conversely, if you’re buying for a lingerie connoisseur, don’t cheap out. “Buy the good stuff,” Kirti says. “She knows what it is, and you don’t want to insult her by buying her trashy adult-store lingerie. Not that there’s not a place for that stuff; there absolutely is. But don’t buy it for someone who loves lingerie and has a collection.”
The best lingerie gifts are the kind that translate “from the boardroom to the bedroom” — the kind of lingerie that could see everyday use. “If you buy her a super-awesome-sexy bra-and-panty set that she can wear under a sweater when she goes to work but can also wear on a hot date, that’s great.”
If you’re unsure what might work in that regard, Kirti suggests you get two sets of lingerie: a classy set and a racy set. “She’ll know that one’s for you,” she says, “and one’s for her.” And if you’re utterly stumped, “Just buy her something black and lacy,” she says. “That looks good on everyone.”
Do some reconnaissance. Take a peek inside your significant other’s underwear or lingerie drawer and look up her bra size, which is a number followed by a letter. Then look at the panty size, which should be small, medium or large. Do not try to measure her yourself: “A man coming at you with a measuring tape is a little frightening,” Kirti says. “Asking her for her sizes is completely fine.” Kirti also advises looking up your girl’s clothing size (size 6, size 8 and so on), which can be used to size her up for sleepwear.
You should also attempt to discern your lover’s tastes, because you’re probably less certain than you think you are. “Most guys like see-through, black, jewel tones … like the stuff they see in French movies,” says Kirti. (I know that she said “French movies” instead of “dumb American pornography,” but c’mon, fellas.) “Men typically like things that are on the racier side — which is not to say ‘slutty’ — and women want something that’s going to make them feel hot and sexy, because for women it’s very cerebral; it’s all about how we’re feeling.
“You should take her physical attributes into account,” she continues. “Find out what she finds most attractive about herself, and exploit that. If [she’s] a pear-shape, with bigger hips and booty and a really stellar upper body, buy her a bra-and-panty set so she shows off her stomach. If she’s got a tummy or has had some kids, then a baby-doll or something to cover your tummy is better. That’ll show off her legs.”
And whatever you do, don’t guess at the size. “The most common mistake men make is buying too small. It’s rare that I have women bringing back large underwear to buy small,” Kirti says. “It’s more likely they’ll bring back a small to exchange for a large.”
Make sure you’re sure. “If you’re giving lingerie for the first time, it’s really important that you go a little bit on the safer side, and buy something a little more mild,” says Kirti. “Just buy a nice silk nightgown instead of a bra-and-panty set. You can work into the sexier, racy stuff later.”
Conversely, if you’re buying for a lingerie connoisseur, don’t cheap out. “Buy the good stuff,” Kirti says. “She knows what it is, and you don’t want to insult her by buying her trashy adult-store lingerie. Not that there’s not a place for that stuff; there absolutely is. But don’t buy it for someone who loves lingerie and has a collection.”
The best lingerie gifts are the kind that translate “from the boardroom to the bedroom” — the kind of lingerie that could see everyday use. “If you buy her a super-awesome-sexy bra-and-panty set that she can wear under a sweater when she goes to work but can also wear on a hot date, that’s great.”
If you’re unsure what might work in that regard, Kirti suggests you get two sets of lingerie: a classy set and a racy set. “She’ll know that one’s for you,” she says, “and one’s for her.” And if you’re utterly stumped, “Just buy her something black and lacy,” she says. “That looks good on everyone.”
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